Chip is a mega-nerd. And he wants to join the Bit Busters, which is a club for… nerds. The problem is the club is run by Melinda the Mental Marvel, and there is a rigorous test you must pass to be eligible to join.

To take up this much desired memberhship Chip has to collect all the computer chips in her tree house, which is a huge maze of levels over 140 levels tall! That is one HUGE treehouse! And it’s a really dodgy tricky treehouse with magic walls, strange doors, teleports, open fires, invisible walls and scary monsters. (Who leaves unattended fires in a treehouse?)

This game is great. I have never made it to the end, but I’ve given it a damn good go. The levels get more challenging quite quickly. Every level has a yellow question mark on the floor, if you stand on that then you get a hint about the level and what you should do.

Some levels you have to do in certain times, you can pause the game to think. Always use the hints you are given. And read the ingame help, because they have a really good “Strategy and Hints” section!

The good news is that if you are having a really tough time trying to figure out a level sometimes Melinda will let you through to the next one. But you really have to deserve it!

The four games are all included in the one download from this site, for your pleasure. They are:

• Xmas Lemmings (1991)
• Xmas Lemmings (1992)
• Christmas/Holiday Lemmings (1993)
• Christmas/Holiday Lemmings (1994)

A bit about the games then eh? So, in true Lemming style you had to guide the lemmings from the entry to the exit. Overcoming all barriers using things like digging, steps, etc. Nominating lemmings to do the tasks.

The first two games had very few levels and were considered demo’s. The latter two were full games with 16 levels each. If I recall correctly the 1991 Xmas Lemmings had less levels than the 1992 Xmas Lemmings, because it included a couple of levels from the Oh No! More Lemmings game. You check that out and let me know.

All four games have the Christmas theme going on, from the little suits the lemmings wear to the halls decked out with bells and holly. They battle their way through ice and snow laying down their planks of wood true lemmings-style.

If you expected something different, then apart from visually and musically you will be let down. But if you’re into puzzle gaming, enjoyed the Lemmings games and want something fun for the festive season then by all means download these cool titles.

Oh, they are so cute with their little hats on, and as they are walking along they go boing, boing, boing, and the music is just brilliant!!

Ugh!

The aim? Simple, fight your way through 30 levels of mysterious mazes while being bombarded by little red men, skeletons, big red teddy bears (erm, iruno) and then multitudes of dragons. And then funny big dragons which look like vampires, so end up looking like some sort of emo-dragon-vampire. But you can’t be assured it’s going to cut itself, so just shoot the crap out of it.

You can shoot with nukes or bombs. You gather those while running around, they look like little scroll things. Also potions – remember you can use the spacebar for that as well as “P”. There are shortcut keys all over. Also doors will need unlocking so collect keys.

One thing I remembered – to my amazement – is the secrets. If you shoot certain parts of the catacomb walls you will reveal passage ways to lovely prizes, or portals to higher levels (heeey, saves time!). I guess I used to play this game way too much when I was younger.

I’m kind of gutted that if you die you have to start again. I’ve not managed to make it past the 18th level in my latest attempt (and did I mention I’ve been playing for three days?!). Don’t worry, I’ll get there soon…

Oh, hint: Great sounding game, POW POW POW oldschool.

I can’t remember exactly where I got this game from, it was probably one of the many hundreds of second hand games that I got from car boot sales and bargain bins. Anyway, for a long time it was just one of those games that I owned but hadn’t gotten around to play untill one night when I was looking for something to play and decided to give it a go – and was hooked for 6 hours or so.

Final conflict is a strategic game of global nuclear war that will appeal to arcade fans more than die-hard wargamers. It comes with a few pre-programmed scenarios : east vs west, the middle east etc or you can choose to conquer the world. A basic game goes like this – use espionage to locate your enemy’s factorys, cities etc and then obliterate them with nuclear ICBMs. Then move in the troops and either obliterate what it left or occupy and use their resources for your advantage. There is also a rather simplistic diplomatic model in which you can convince nations to join your cause. It’s all rather simplistic but as long as you don’t expect anything to deep you should have some fun with it.

It is when enemies launch nuclear weapons against you that the game switches to arcade mode. You have to defend your cities and facilities from incoming warheads using star-wars type weaponry – if you’ve ever played the classic Atari game Missile Command then you’ll be right at home.

For the average gamer this will provide a few hours of enjoyment, die hard strategy gamers will give up out of disgust.

Fun, but nothing special

Hero Quest (along with Space Crusade) was Games Workshop’s attempt to gain a foothold in the mainstream board games market. After an extensive advertising campaign the games and there add-ons gained a fair bit of popularity and it was inevitable that computerised version would be released.

And here we are

Sooooooo horrible things have befallen the land. Plague, pestilence, fire, brimstone, gophers. In times like this who are you gonna call? A barbarian, a dwarf, an elf and a wizard that’s who dagnabbit! Our party must enter the terrible dungeons of Morcar and complete 15 quests, each more horrible and sticky than the last. Find treasure, kill green things and rescue people who are too retarded to rescue themselves.

Fun fun fun eh?

Each character can be controlled in turn by a different player. Each starts in a separate corner of the dungeon/board, after a random dice roll to determine the order of play its off we go and each little spod goes and does whatever thing that heroes do (rescuing maidens and headbutting orcs I should imagine).

Play goes like this – each character gets one movement and one action per turn. The amount of movement depends on the value that the player has rolled (with a dice.. go figure) and action is carried out before or after each movement. Actions are fighting, casting spells, disarming traps searching for treasure.. that type of thing. The dungeon consists of rooms and passages, with the contents of each room unknown to the player, who must search them using their actions.

Monsters – yep, the dungeon contains nasty things that want to hurt you. Goblins, Orcs, Skeletons, Chaos Warriors (my favourite) all intent on being mean to you =( Each player/monster has body points and mind points. The dwarf and barbarian are dumb but strong, while the elf and wizard are weedy but brainy. As a general rule of thumb high mind points means that you can do magic, and high body points means that you can hit things in the face… hard. The amount of points available to each player can be changed with various potions found in the dungeon… or obviously by walking face first into a trap.

At the end of each quest you get to spend all that lovely treasure that you found (you did find some right?) and buy swords, shields and spells to aid in your quest.

So yeah, you should know the score now

If this sounds like your bag (yeah baby!) then download it you fool (FOOL!).

Movie tie-ins for the most part suck arsehole. They are little more than rushed, buggy attempts to cash in on a successful franchise. Hook is a movie tie-in, and while I wouldn’t go as far to say that the game is terrible, it is certainly not a true classic.

So why have I put it on the site you may ask, well

1) It was one of the few games that I bought for the Atari ST ( I got this and The Secret of Monkey Island at the same time, guess which game I prefer )
2) I worked damn hard to complete it, god knows why but I did. Now i’m going to push others to do the same.

If you’ve never seen the movie then you are going to be at a loss as to what is going on. You play Peter Banning who doesn’t know that he is (or was) Peter Pan. Your children have been kidnapped by the evil Captain Hook and it is up to you to journey to Nevernever land to rescue them.

My biggest probelm with Hook is that it could have been a damn good game, but it tries to follow the movie too closely. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but Hook fails badly at it. I can’t help but feel if the game had either done more to follow the movie (there were some pretty emotional bits in it… not that I cried or anything.. nu uh!) or had gone in a completely different direction with the story it could have been a decent adventure. Instead, on completing the game I was left feeling.. well, nothing. I had no desire to play it again, no feeling of accomplishment, nothing at all.

OK, i’ve panned the game enough, is there anything good i can say about it? Well, some of the earlier puzzles are quite fun to solve (especialy one involving an anchor and some rope), the game looks very nice and at least Robin Williams doesn’t have body hair to rival a cro-magnon primate (if you haven’t seen the movie then accept that what I just said was funny and move on. who cares if it make no sense to you).

It’s a shame because part of me really wants to reccomend the game, but the serious adventure gamer part of me just wants to dump on it. I think that newbies to point ‘n’ click adventures or young kids might get a kick out of it, and maybe everyone else should try it just so they can form their own opinion.

Just keep your expectations low.

The following quote from Home of the Underdogs effectively sums up this game:

Interphase is an average action game from Mirrorsoft that disappointingly squanders the license of Neuromancer, classic cyberpunk novel it was based on.

Interphase is a first person shoot-em-up taking place in cyberspace (a visual simulation of the inside of a computer system). The problem is that it doesn’t know that it’s a FPS – it desperately wants to be a simulation or deep hacking game instead. But what it boils down to is that Interphase is a shoot-em-up just like Quake is a shoot-em-up. It has levels, obstacles and objectives just like any other FPS and it’s just a shame (for Interphase) that they probably forked out a hefty sum for the Neuromancer licence to produce this game.

Ok, enough of dumping on the game I think, lets be a bit more positive now because Interphase IS in fact, rather fun. As I said before the bulk of the game takes place in cyberspace with you being required to complete certain objectives – track down and destroy a bothersome piece of software or disable a security system for example. There are some quite interesting puzzles to solve in the game, thought they do get a little “samey”. The controls and interface can be a slightly awkward at times but it doesn’t affect the game too much.

All in all Interphase, while definately worth taking a look at, is nothing special. There are much better FPS’ and hacking games out there.

A TV station management game, quite a novel idea that is well executed. Lots of humour (some of the animations will at least make you chuckle), good AI and a decent economics model (if that’s what yings your yang).

May be one to check out.

Ph34r the red! Ah, The Monuments of Mars (plural as this includes all four of the volumes!)

• Monuments of Mars – Volume 1 – First Contact
• Monuments of Mars – Volume 2 – The Pyramid
• Monuments of Mars – Volume 3 – The Fortress
• Monuments of Mars – Volume 4 – The Face

Trust good old Apogee to split one game into about 4 again. You wonder if they do that so that you get four times as much game, or so they can make four times as much money. It’s something to think about

But yes, in this game you are a NASA astronaut. You have been sent to the mysterious planet of Mars. There have been many expeditions to Mars, but none have ever returned. Where are our men? Why have they not returned? Are there alien life forms on Mars that may have captured and eaten them? These questions need answering, so they pick YOU! You jump in your space ship, which is cool as its computer powered . You cruise over to Mars and land on the Red Planet. The first thought would have to be ‘wow, what a green and red planet! And what are those funny looking aliens with flowers for antenna, and them strange robots!’

The game graphics aren’t that great for a 1991 game, but its tolerable. I guess things ARE red when you are on Mars . The sound is PC speaker sound, and not that astonishing either. But don’t worry, its not all bad! The game is one that I’ve played right through many times, so it can’t be all that bad right!? I mean I was addicted.

So go, across the planets surface and then deep within the planet. Encounter strange, and yet some pleasant aliens. There are all kinds of exciting things. BUT WAIT! Why yes, yes there is more. You get four times as much of it, because this is an Apogee game, and there are four volumes!

See if you can find the missing astronauts, collect some points, shoot some aliens and find out the secrets of Mars.

Well it has all the characters, and you can roam around the neighbourhood. But I have to admit that I did get rather bored and lost as soon as I started playing.

On the other hand, it was very pretty, there was lots of places to explore and I would have enjoyed it if I could’ve figured it out.

Bit of a bummer, cos I love the Snoopy & Peanuts cartoons.

For the most part I don’t like flight simulations.

For me the idea of having to learn 200+ keys just to know how to scratch my arse is not fun (the one exception is Battlecruiser 3000ad, if I ever add it to the site you’ll find out why ). I think perhaps it’s an indication of extreme low inteligence on my part but hugely complicated simulations just don’t float my boat.

ThunderHawk has many keys to learn but it does not feel at all complex or daunting, which is probably why I have always liked it so much. Once you get the hang of the (very simple) mouse controls and learn how to switch weapons and targets you are pretty much set. The graphics are functional (they were great for the time) and the missions are varied and well thought out (I particlarly like the briefing sequences before each mission, very cool!). My only beef is that the intro is missing the cool speech that was present in the Atari ST version (you have no idea how amazing it was to hear your computer talking back then… *sigh*).

A fun, light um… simulation. Easy to get in to and higly addictive.

Great stuff.

I love this game, I LOVE this game..

I LOVE THIS GAME!!!

(proceeds to excitedly run around in circles).

I played it for the first time in years recently, just to take a few screenshots before i added it to the site.

Then two hours vanished as I raced around the track repeatedly at speeds in excess of 120mph, occsionaly crashing, occasionaly spinning off the track but loving every minute of it.

In case you havent guessed, Vroom is a racing game. It has bright colourful graphics and endeavours to be more fun than a true simulation of F1 racing. The physics model is a bit strange; it’s possible to take corners almost perfectlt at 100mph with a minimum effort – but all this does is add to the fun and thrill of high speed racing.

I just love the game, I loved it on the Atari ST and I love it on the PC.

The most fun you can have without an elastic band and a batman costume.

HIGHLY Recomended.

This game has not been reviewed. If you would like to submit a review and be credited, then please contact us.

Civilization: Ahh civ, so I was going through my old cd-collection today and I find civilization, on cd, I pondered for a second, wondering how I managed to get this, and why civ would be on a cd. Well it turns out it had the game in English, French and German, plus manuals to match (Although I couldn’t actually put the manual here because its like 23mb O_O) but I digress

For those of you that don’t know, civilization is a turn-based strategy game, created by Sid Meier’s and published by Micro Prose. And although I would be the first to admit I am not exactly good at this game, it is still enjoyable to play once in a while . You are the leader of a new civilization, on a new world, your job, to 0wn everyone else. You can accomplish this task in one of two ways, by destroying all the other civilizations or by winning the space race (which is accomplished by researching into technology and then building a space-ship before anyone else). Its not just as simple as that though, there can be up to 7 other civilizations on this planet and they all want the same thing you do, and will do anything they can to accomplish it.

You can choose from 14 different civilizations to begin with ranging from civilizations such as the Romans (Caesar), to the Indians (Mahatma Gandhi). Each civilization not only looks different, but also has diffident starting technologies. Technologies are what gets you going in this world you need to beef up your technologies by investing resource’s into researching them (such as researching the wheel), and then investing resource’s into developing them (such as making a horse drawn cart now you have the research for the wheel). Many technologies will require you to research into many different things, (see technologies flow chart).

You can acquire additional resources by expanding your civilization, for example by sending settlers to create new towns. You can also expand your civilization by converting the land surrounding your towns into irrigated land. And create roads to and from your towns to speed up the units that travel along it. What really makes or breaks you in this game is your foreign policies, will you go for love, or war? You can create ambassadors to meet with other civilizations and forge alliances, give gifts or even ask to go to war with another civilizations, but as a warning, they will also do this to you .

One neat feature of this game is your palace, when you please your citizens, they will reward you by upgrading your palace, you can create quite a house O_O .

All in all, this is a game that everyone should try once, even if you aren’t a fan of strategy games .

Well here is another underrated classic as far as I can tell me and my brothers were the only people to play this game ever .

But anyway on with the review, this game has a unique style of gameplay, you are one of the Bonanza Brothers and your job is to steal from the corrupt people in the city.. You have to enter a variety of institutions ranging from a casino to a pyramid and steal everything of value fun. Its not just the objective that sets this game apart either, in this game you spend 90% of your time attempting to fool the computer AI (the security guards) so you can sneak past un-noticed or by stunning the guards by shooting them with your rather attractive stun gun. You can accomplish this in many ways, from hiding round corners, to sneaking past when they are asleep to pretending to be a robot, just make sure you get that loot .

The graphics in this game are very well done, everyone is made up out of shapes, and no one has legs or necks giving the game a distinct style. The music is also well done and the sound fits the game well, although usually just consist of cartoon type sounds.

Where this game really shines is in the two-player mode so make sure to get a friend round or play on the interweb using gens to get the most out of it .

If I have one complaint about this game, it’s the size. Its quite easy to complete once you know what your doing and there are only about 6 or 7 levels. Still worth every byte though

Right, before we get cracking I want to ask you a quick question.

Have you, or have you not ever played the classic role-playing romp by the name of Dungeon Master?
If you answered no then sod off now because you are making my job harder than it has to be. I don’t want to have to explain what that classic game was (I cannot BELIEVE you never played it) because it deserves a page.. nay a site all to itself.

You fool!

If you answered yes then read on

Bloodwych is a dungeony, mazey, party-based RPG in the style of Dungeon Master (aren’t you glad that you know what i’m talking about?). It has a more dumbed-down feel to it than dungeon master did, the puzzles are either entirely based on combat or are painfully simple. Also the magic system has been dumbed-down and now relies on colour codes (remember the runes from dungeon master?) – the whole game has an arcadey feel and just isn’t as rewarding as Dungeon Master.

The one welcome addition is a split screen two player mode, where each player takes control of a party of four characters. However, this does mean that the already poor quality of the graphics is greatly reduced when they squashed down to a smaller screen.

Hehe maybe i’m not the best person to review this game after all (if you can do a better job, then by all means send a review in) but nothing will ever live up to Dungeon Master in my eyes.

That is all folks

Baby Jo! Awww cutie

Just by looking at the screenshots you can see this game is damn cute. It has the white fluffy cloud screen, with the bottle (a.k.a health), diapers, hearts and the face of Baby Jo.

This is your basic platform game. You go from left to right, avoiding and killing the enemies. When you get to the end, you’ve completed the level. Its not that hard to figure out It’s got a lot of charm, but nothing unusual. Flowers try shoving stuff up your arse, wood rolls around, and bees and other flying things try to smash you in the face. Did someone mention a lawnmower?

I’ve never played this game with any sound, but I did some inquiring into the game to find out more about the sound, to discover that it actually doesn’t have any sound. That’s a bit of a let down, but its still a great game nonetheless. If they ever remade this, could you imagine the kind of sounds it would have?

The graphics are actually really good, and that adds to the whole appeal of the game. If you’ve played about a billion other side-scrolling games such as this, you might not find anything new or exiting here. But the theme behind it is totally original

Thumbs up!

Yay, another game from Apogee. Yes, a four part mini series in the intense thriller called Arctic Adventure!! Woohoo! This game actually has a pretty neat story, and it makes sense to as why they would split it into four volumes.

Long, long ago there was a band of Vikings, who had collected a lot of treasure. They sailed to the Arctic to hide it, and on the way home they sank. They had made a map and it had been split into four and hidden around the arctic. When all the parts of the map had been found, they would point to where the treasure was hidden.

Presently, you are an archeologist, six months ago you found a Pharaohs tomb, but nobody takes you seriously. Other professionals in the field scoffed your find and called you a newbie with beginners luck. If you can find this treasure, or one part of the map then maybe you can prove people wrong. You will be a hero!

You venture off to the Arctic, in volume 1 of Arctic Adventure you will get the first part of the map should you make it to the end. Then in the second you will get the second part and so on. Pity me, when I was growing up, I only had part one and I have to tell you, having only one part of this four part game sucked big time.

This game is great for the enemies, as you slide your arse around, trying to avoid ice bullets, big boulders, Eskimo’s that look like monkeys, and strange looking purple things. Some levels are a real challenge, and will keep you cursing for hours. Oh, you have to love it! You have a gun and can shoot, but you have limited bullets.

The graphics are your classic CGA – magenta and pale blue. The sounds are PC speaker, but they are pretty cool for this game in my own humble opinion.

Go freeze your arse of and find those maps. Show them snotty professionals just what you’re made of! This is a great game you’ll love it. It’s fun whilst still being a challenge.